top of page

Can a couple relationship be saved?

Updated: Apr 26, 2023

- Patient: “We do not know if our relationship can still be saved, so many things have happened between us during these years, it is no longer the same, we seem strangers...".

- Therapist: - "Yes, if there is a real will to recover what you once had. "

- "Where there once was fire...”

It is possible to restructure, rebuild, heal, learn, recover, and grow when a couple has affection for each other and there is a strong commitment to what they have built in a positive way.

For this it is important to consider some behaviors for good marital coexistence:

  1. Know how to give and receive: affectivity should be a two-way flow. Exchange "positive reinforcers”. Praise, affection, or reward messages.

  2. Don't be touchy: fussy people make living together unbearable. Don't get hurt over the smallest things.

  3. Take care of the details: so that being together with each other is pleasant and enriching. Surprises are always appreciated because they break the monotony.

  4. Avoid unnecessary discussions: They serve as an outlet and reproach but leave traces and feed apathy.

  5. Relate quickly. If the discussion has already occurred, try not to let it escalate and degenerate into a mutism of hours and days. Ask for forgiveness or initiate reconciliation with a gesture of peace.

  6. Watch your manners: gestures are as important as words. Daily conduct (respect, delicacy, and understanding) is key.

  7. Bury your list of offenses: When they start to irritate you, don't resort to the backlog of complaints. Learn to shut up or focus on the problem.

  8. Look for the right moment: They call it the "gift of timing". Avoid bringing up issues and conflicts when they don't belong.

  9. Defend your space: If you are independent, you will be better valued. Success lies in that each one conserves its individuality: hobbies, friends ....

  10. Become experts in communication: let people talk, listen, watch your voice volume, and don't take anything for granted.

  11. Recover the intimacy: it is a space of coexistence of the couple where there are only two of you, shared experiences as a couple, (without children, relatives, partners, etc.) A trip to the movies, a dinner, a walk holding hands...

If these items are difficult to follow on your own, you can always seek the guidance of a therapist to implement them.

Wendy Klingenberger

4 views0 comments


bottom of page